Self-talk

I detest the word discipline.

It frequently gets thrown around in the world of fitness and nutrition; attributing a lack of discipline to why one might be challenged to meet their goals.

Listen, the word itself, by definition, has a pretty harsh connotation. It’s defined as training people to obey a set of rules or codes of behavior and the use of punishment to correct disobedience.

I cringe when I hear people talk about not having the discipline to do something or that they wish they were more disciplined. I don’t believe it’s necessarily about being deficient in discipline but rather an overabundance of complacency.

A complacent mentality is feeling content with the status quo. It’s being satisfied with your current situation so that you are not truly willing to invest in making the necessary changes in habits, patterns, and ways of thinking to instigate the transformation of personal health and wellbeing (or in some cases, other life-altering decision making).

I’ve talked about this before on various platforms but I relate self-punishment to a form of discipline that stems from self-depreciation. Hence, one of the reasons I don’t like the use of the word discipline or the usage of disciplinary action to evoke change.

I much prefer to use terms like ‘show up’ and ‘aligned action’ to replace the extreme punishment evoking language that we’ve been conditioned to use when we aren’t showing up for ourselves or aren’t taking actions that align with the outcome you desire to achieve.

My private clients, and even those in my close network, know that I’m very mindful about language and the words I choose. Repeatedly using words and phrases that are common in our culture that have negative connotations are actually programming our subconscious whether we realize it or not.

I’ve had people message me and describe themselves or their current dissatisfied state with words and phrases like I’m fat, I’m a piggy, I made the scale cry, I’m nasty, and many other heartbreaking depreciating self-talk.

There are a lot of elements to integrating change. And I believe, wholeheartedly, that it must be rooted in self-love. You cannot hate your way to healthy. You cannot hate yourself to being vibrant and full of life. You cannot hate yourself to transformation.

You don’t need more punishment, you need more love.

Challenging you to flip your perspective.

Depreciating self-talk is like HTML.

HTML stands for Hypertext Markup Language; it’s the language used to create web pages and considered the building blocks for how a page will display to the viewer.

I had a conversation with a middle-school-age girl, whom I’ve known since she was born, over the weekend that illuminated to me how critical it is that we examine how we speak to ourselves.

She was telling me that she is really lazy. I don’t think it’s uncommon for kids to be considered lazy. By definition, it means unwilling to work or use energy. And in certain situations, I know laziness is the default label we use when we experience someone trying to avoid work or responsibilities.

My premonition though is that the lazy label she’s given herself could lend to this beautiful, vibrant young woman potentially not achieving her potential simply because she believes she is too lazy to. And that saddens me.

This actually came up recently with a new nutrition client I’m working with. During our first session, I had to administer some tough love regarding the depreciating self-talk. I do not tolerate it and here’s why: our language, the words we choose, are incredibly powerful. When we speak, whether we are addressing others, or ourselves, attributes to our internal programming.

There are many real-world examples of this, unfortunately. Children being told they’re “no good” or “losers” who won’t amount to anything and then we watch these kids actualize behaviors that affirm the labels they were given.

I saw the conversation I had with the girl as an opportunity to help her reframe her “laziness” as a means of energy conservation so that when she finds there is something that lights her up, she’ll have the energy to pursue it with purpose. I encouraged her to use language that signifies conservation of energy so as to not justify the label of laziness.

Granted, it might not get her out of her share of chores at home but I do believe that there is great power in shifting how we label ourselves and our behaviors.

If you are using depreciating self-talk or language of any kind towards yourself, please stop immediately.

You become what you believe yourself to be so if you’re constantly calling yourself a fat ass or pig, talking about your lack of discipline or that you can’t achieve what you want because you’re lazy or whatever, you are creating your reality.

Your choice of words – your personal HTML is code for how YOU view yourself internally and how you display yourself externally.

Your language is literally coding you so please stop talking down to yourself. Choose your words, your HTML, wisely.

Tag: Self-talk

Overabundance of Complacency

Your Words Are Coding You