Overabundance of Complacency

This is not the result of discipline.

I detest the word discipline. 

It frequently gets thrown around in the world of fitness and nutrition; attributing a lack of discipline to why one might be challenged to meet their goals.

Listen, the word itself, by definition, has a pretty harsh connotation. It’s defined as training people to obey a set of rules or codes of behavior and the use of punishment to correct disobedience. 

I cringe when I hear people talk about not having the discipline to do something or that they wish they were more disciplined. I don’t believe it’s necessarily about being deficient in discipline but rather an overabundance of complacency. 

A complacent mentality is feeling content with the status quo. It’s being satisfied with your current situation so that you are not truly willing to invest in making the necessary changes in habits, patterns, and ways of thinking to instigate the transformation of personal health and wellbeing (or in some cases, other life-altering decision making).

I’ve talked about this before on various platforms but I relate self-punishment to a form of discipline that stems from self-depreciation. Hence, one of the reasons I don’t like the use of the word discipline or the usage of disciplinary action to evoke change. 

I much prefer to use terms like ‘show up’ and ‘aligned action’ to replace the extreme punishment evoking language that we’ve been conditioned to use when we aren’t showing up for ourselves or aren’t taking actions that align with the outcome you desire to achieve. 

My private clients, and even those in my close network, know that I’m very mindful about language and the words I choose. Repeatedly using words and phrases that are common in our culture that have negative connotations are actually programming our subconscious whether we realize it or not. 

I’ve had people message me and describe themselves or their current dissatisfied state with words and phrases like I’m fat, I’m a piggy, I made the scale cry, I’m nasty, and many other heartbreaking depreciating self-talk. 

There are a lot of elements to integrating change. And I believe, wholeheartedly, that it must be rooted in self-love. You cannot hate your way to healthy. You cannot hate yourself to being vibrant and full of life. You cannot hate yourself to transformation.

You don’t need more punishment, you need more love.   

Portal For Transformation

I do what I do for ME. You do what you do for YOU.

I cannot want for you what you want for you more than you want it.

During a conversation with a client a few weeks ago, I made the comment that I have often felt that I want what she wants for herself more than she does.

For the record, I adore this client. I do want her to achieve what she desires so badly, and I have absolute faith that she is capable of it.

But over the course of our time together, it often seemed that I was dragging her instead of walking alongside her.

And to be frank, that’s not my job as a coach and mentor.

I am a portal for transformation.

However, if you want to be in my field and experience the fruition of whatever goals you have, the requirement is that you take the initiative to enter. And show up for yourself. Every. Single. Day.

I cannot do the work for you.

I can guide you, support you, steer you in the right direction, make recommendations, give you ideas, provide feedback, be your loudest cheerleader, and celebrate every win with you. But if I want it for you more than you do, it won’t work. Period.

I’m setting new boundaries with how I hold space for clients. My desire is to work with clients who are ALL IN.

I frequently get inquiries and messages from people who exclaim “I’m ready!” And then weeks pass without any action or further discussion. You’re either all the fuck in or not. There is no “I’m kind of ready” or “I think I’m ready but still on the fence about how ready I really am because life is crazy and I’m not sure and maybe next week, or next month, or in 2025 when my kid graduates high school will be better and then I’ll really be ready.”

I’ve worked with people who’ve said all the right things yet fail to follow through. I’ve had clients forget about their check-in appointments or get busy and not prioritize their commitment to themselves (and honor my time). I’ve witnessed every aspect of self-sabotage you can imagine.

My intention is not to be callous or without compassion. But it would be a disservice if I were to avoid administering a touch of tough love to trigger you a little bit.

If you have considered or are considering working with me, know that the requirement is going to be that you’re willing to prove that you’re all in.