Tag: Lessons

Ducks In A Row

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Hazelnut. The friendly one of the three.

Three life lessons I learned from raising ducklings this year.

I wanted a duck. One. Not three. But because I’m a “leap and the net will appear” type of gal, I often jump into things without preparing myself assuming that I’ll learn as I go. 

This serves me pretty well for the most part. It keeps life interesting and my Mister on his toes. Ha!

Back in April, I was looking for chicks but chicks weren’t yet available at the feed store; ducklings were ample. I bought two. I figured if I was going to get one, a second one just made sense.

Unfortunately, one of the ducklings didn’t survive more than a week. I didn’t want the remaining one to be alone so back to the feed store I went for a replacement. There were two left. The clerk begged me to take both and informed me that they cannot be alone. They need to be in pairs or groups. He didn’t even charge me for it. I got a buy-one-get-one-free deal!

And that’s how I ended up with three ducks and three lessons.

 Lesson One

The phrase “ducks in a row” is an idiom that basically means to have details in order, be well organized, prepared, or in proper position before embarking on a new project or undertaking.

I most certainly did not have my ducks in a row when I entered the feed store that fateful day in April.  If I had waited based upon the technicality that I had no idea what I was doing, I would have missed out on a lot of joy over the past eight months. 

I find it interesting that a natural characteristic of ducks is to walk in a row but slightly abreast. If you’ve never had the opportunity to observe ducks, they literally waddle around abreast with one another but slightly staggered. It’s quite comical. Their positioning is orderly without order, inline and misaligned, perfectly imperfect.

We often wait until the right time before we begin to do something. Waiting until things are in order, our schedules are clear, one project is complete before moving on to the next. The lesson I’ve extracted is that sometimes we need to leap before our ducks are in a row because frankly, they’ll never quite be inline. 

Lesson Two

Their cooperativeness is affected by my energy. Unlike chickens, ducks do not tuck themselves in for the night. My three are part-time free-range ducks so when we let them out, we have to physically go shoo them back into their coop before it gets dark. Or, if we get delayed, in the dark which is even more fun. 

It has gotten a little easier as they’ve become better trained but there’s also some strategy involved. And, one of the strategies I’ve come to employ is approaching them with a demeanor that exudes calm and unruffled (no pun intended).

They can read my energy. I’ve gone out to put them away and in my own haste, have ended up unproductively chasing them around in circles as my frustration level rapidly rises. In turn, they become leerier of my intentions and get worked up. So I get more worked up and advance from frustration to agitation. They get even more defiant and I get more pissed. And then… it just keeps escalating. 

I either have to walk away and come back later or send for reinforcement. (AKA Papa Rooster, my mister, who is the true keeper of our flock.)

Anyway, they are much more compliant when I tend to them when I’m intentional about my energy. Isn’t that the case in most situations? We have the power to choose how we respond and therefore, the outcome.

Lesson Three

The net really will appear. 

Any decision to do something comes with a learning curve. Preparing has its place and being proactive, instead of reactive, is a smart strategy a lot of the time.

But also, sometimes diving head-first into something forces you to rise up to meet the occasion. You can put one foot in front of the other and learn as you go. You can begin before you feel you’re ready. You can learn to trust your whims and that somehow, someway, everything will work out okay. 

Sometimes you simply have to have unwavering trust and faith that the net will appear. 

Warm-Up

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Failed attempt or a warm-up for the next?

I was having a conversation with a friend recently and within the context of sharing the core of what Aligned Activation is with her, I called myself a “goal pro.”

Taking pride in the things I’ve checked off my list of desired achievements is fuel when I find myself challenged when things don’t seem to go my way in working toward or reaching a goal. 

Because 9 times out of 10, my first attempt at a goal was not when I actually achieved it. 

(I may be a “pro” but I’m also a pro at trusting the divine timing of things and that means trusting there is a reason they don’t always go in my favor.)

When I think about current goals and things I’ve dreamt of doing for a long time – and how far off they feel or how little progress I feel I’ve made toward them – it can be discouraging. And, for transparency’s sake, I’m currently in that state with a few aspirations.

A couple of relevant examples would be how many attempts to quit drinking I made before it stuck. I honestly lost count. But in less than two months, I’ll be celebrating five years of sobriety.

Or, my dream of qualifying for the Boston Marathon. When I got bit by the bug to run Boston, I really only had the intention to run two marathons: the marathon that I would run to qualify for Boston and then the actual Boston marathon. 

Guess what? I didn’t qualify on my first attempt. Nor my second or third. If my memory serves me correctly, it was my fourth attempt, nine months after my first try.

I’ve been giving a lot of careful consideration to something that has, for about 19 years, albeit in a cyclical fashion, been a dream. I’ve started, and stopped, for various reasons a handful of times and have questioned whether or not it’s something I really want to pursue given that after an attempt, I tend to think that maybe it’s not in my highest excitement after all or that I’m not cut out for it.

Plus, I’ve looked at each attempt as a “fail” because I didn’t really get what I’d hoped out of the experience and then, out of fear of further failure, talked myself out of trying again. (Out of a little compassion and fairness to myself, there have been a couple of other factors beyond my control that also played a part in changing course the past few years. But for the most part, I take responsibility for the choices I’ve made.)

Being that I consider myself an alchemist when it comes to turning challenges into opportunities, I’ve applied that mindset reflecting back over past experiences and this is what I’ve discovered: those previous attempts… the times I stopped drinking for a couple of months… the marathons I ran that weren’t quite fast enough to earn a spot at Boston… the bodybuilding competition prep that ended with a canceled show or placing just one spot outside of the top five…

They weren’t failed attempts. They were just part of the warm-up.

Every effort was a preparatory opportunity to gain experience and extract lessons that then could be applied to the next try. Offering me insight to apply to the next attempt. 

It’s like playing a video game. Do you slay the dragon and save the princess on the first attempt? Not in my experience. Typically, I lose a few lives before I successfully complete a level, let alone an entire game. However, each time I pass through level 1, level 2, level 10… I remember where the obstacles are. I’m able to collect the coins and extra lives quicker. I recall the point at which the giant venomous ants come out of hiding and know how to access the secret spring that catapults my character over the river of molten lava that instantly ends the game if you fall in.

Every attempt is a warm-up for the next attempt… getting closer to the prize, rescuing the princess, checking another achievement off the list of goals. 

Whatever goals you have yet to reach, if you don’t nail it on this try or it takes a few attempts before you do nail it, look at each one as a warm-up. Extract whatever lessons you can. And most importantly, if you feel a burning desire within the core of your being that tells you to keep going, to keep working towards that goal, please KEEP GOING. Even if you warm-up a hundred times, keep going. The princess is counting on you.